It is inevitable that when you come to campus you will want to establish yourself on the social playing field and will want to look your best without having to work too hard for it or get too focused on how you look and forget about the books. Balance is hard to find in college, especially in the beginning. However if you are a fashionista before stepping on to campus you have nothing to deal with, but for everyone else how do you define your personal style if you have one and if you don’t finding one won’t be that difficult.
Now creating or defining your personal style all begins with inspiration whether it’s from a movie, an era, a city, or just based on how comfortable you feel in the clothes. Yet it is important to know that yes the clothes are a factor, but your confidence plays a larger role. The embodied confidence in the person wearing the clothes, make the clothes look better, not the pattern or cut. Additionally fashion inspiration can be found on the many fashion blogs that focus on pictures and items of clothing. The second factor of incorporating a personal style on campus is that it isn’t too expensive and is easy to put on in a rush. Nothing is wrong with wearing leggings and a sweatshirt all the time or even sweatpants, but after a while you blind in with everyone else. That becomes the unofficial uniform for college women. However claiming your own style results in you making your own uniform, your personal go-to style that can include a lot of neutral tones, dresses, great sweatshirts etc. Whatever you feel is essential to your wardrobe if you aren’t interested in creating “looks” and outfits throughout the week.
Another aspect of developing a style is accessories if you rather wear a really basic outfit standout with some great accent pieces like a hat, necklace, watch, scarves, bags, bracelets and all that jazz. If you want to play down your clothes, play it up with your accessories! There are many more tips, but I think the most important tip in constructing a style is how you decide to combine what you wear to who you are. The outfits you make should reflect who you are and not who you see in the magazines or TV screens, when you get dressed it is all about you.
There’s a great debate amongst collegiate women about wearing makeup. One side is for makeup as a daily necessity. The other side thinks wearing makeup daily is a waste and pointless. Personally, there is no right or wrong to this debate, which would be better be served as a dialogue. Since it isn’t kind to force your opinions on someone. Any way the two sides of the debate make sensible arguments that must be considered.
The ladies For Daily Makeup: Generally young women who choose to wear makeup on a daily basis feel better about the way they look with a flawless face with the help of concealer, foundation, blush, and so much more. It’s generally about looking good for themselves and boosting their own confidence, yet these women are misconstrued for the young women that wear make every day for the sake of getting someone’s attention. The women on campus who are constantly wearing makeup, are discussed, questioned, and commented on because they are in school and “should” only focus on academics which is the majority of why people attend institutions of higher learning, but it is also about gaining life experience and growth. Honestly, makeup only distorts outer beauty, and consequently infects inner beauty.
The Ladies against Daily Make Up: these women aren’t necessarily against the entity that is makeup, but feel that wearing it every day and all the time is a hassle and not a necessity. Make up to these women are beauty enhancers not a means to change how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you. Just on special occasions and when you want to look a little bit more special. However, some of these women are accused of not caring about how they look, when they do makeup just isn’t a priority.
I know it may seem that there is a social dichotomy in college women and whether to “make-up” or not but this debate transcends campuses. It is all a matter of where the woman as individual feels about herself and how she wishes to be seen. Even though social pressures play a large role in perception at the end of the day it’s all about doing things for yourself, learning, and becoming a good person. Personally, do whatever makes you feel good and happy, and don’t worry about the thoughts of everyone else as long as you’re not causing any harm go for it!
There is nothing having a planned day of the week where you spend time with your significant other or just your best friends. This night is important because it demonstrates to all parties that they are willing to make time for one another regardless of class and work. It’s essential in a good relationship that you feel like a priority not an option, you should at least be in the top three. In any relationship making time for someone that truly matters is a great way to show that you care and that you appreciate them, without having to write it in the sky. The little things matter most.
Even though you are bound to see you’re significant more than once a week, date night or day is specific to not doing homework or studying together, but just enjoying life and one another. Additionally it invites the possibilities of life, you guys can do that same thing each date night, but it would be a better experience to have different date night options in advance. I say in advance because it’s annoying to have to go through the “what do you want to do” conversation each time. However there are so many fun ways to enhance the date night experience that are tailored to the wants and budgets of each person, since being a broke college student is a real reality!
Here are a couple ideas to making each and every date night/day fun and new!
- Date Jar:* Get an empty glass jar, whether a mason or old pasta sauce jar. Each person get a set of post it notes with a specific color for each party. Each of you guys write as many reasonable date ideas read them aloud then place them into the jar or just place them in the jar and just hope that date suggestions will be affordable and fun! *With the date jar idea it is crucial that before you all start writing date suggestions you discuss guidelines and rules.
- There’s an App for that: there are plenty apps that provide fun things to do in your location and the surrounding locations, such as Groupon and Living Social. These apps don’t just provide you with tangible goods like art supplies or fancy phone chargers. But allow you to search your surroundings for fun and affordable activities that need at least two people to participate for a decent price, which can be split between the two of you.
It is commonplace that when you start to have a crush or you’ve found the person you like on campus that you will start to frequent their social media sites, just to keep tabs on them. However to get secretive and obsessive is obviously not a good thing. Yet the worse part of social media is how it infiltrates relationships no matter what stage. It all begins by the need to use social media to snoop and spy, which removes trust and honesty in the relationship. The loss of these attributes in a relationship creates tension instead of harmony granted not all relationship are perfect but without a strong foundation built on trust, it is more likely to fall under the pressure. Then it comes to the point where you feel that social media will validate your relationship once you and your beau put a picture up. When in reality that shouldn’t matter your relationship is valid regardless and it is no one’s business.
That leads me to bring up the point that social media shouldn’t be used to vent about relationships or the person you are involved with it only results in unnecessary attention and the perspectives from the peanut gallery who fail to know all the information. Social media is an infection to a relationship, but it also highlight the flaws in the relationship especially of the intent of the people involved isn’t true. Why would a relationship work if all you want to do is show off your partner and get the approval of your internet friends and the few real ones. Today’s social media emphasis neglect the need for privacy once two people come together in a sense disconnection people from one another and connecting them more to the internet, the different sites, and apps. Even though it may seem that social media can determine the validity of bond between two people it is important to stop and realize that this medium holds no power unless you give it power and that it totally up to you. honestly, it is extremely important to remember the source of the connection between you and this special person to the extent this this person is there for you and only you and that there is no room for anyone else to be looking in.
Honestly, dating in college is tricky. I am not talking about falling in love and find “the one” (even though that’s even more difficult to find), but dating on campus simply finding someone who you have common interests, want to be around, reap some “benefits”, and have someone who cares about you on a campus full of strangers. Finding this person is particularly difficult because of the college sub culture: hook up culture which removes people from their emotional attachments and instincts as they focus on the physical and instant gratification. This sub culture focuses on a no strings attached relationship giving more weight to physical attachment than the necessary emotional and mental connections. Hook up culture makes it difficult for the people who can’t or won’t adapt to open relationships and friends with benefits because they are searching for monogamy when many aren’t, and the ones who do are overlooked. Consequently dating on campuses may be a scarce reality that has been morphed into hook up culture, but even though it sounds like a scary and hopeless task to find someone who gets you on campus. Remember there are many opportunities to find someone you mesh with by simply living your life and being open to new experiences that involve activities that get you out of your comfort zone. A rule of thumb is: when you don’t search and stress over having someone, that when they (whoever it may be) will come to you.
However since hook up culture is a campus reality it is best to equip yourself with a game plan since wanting to find a companion is inevitable.
- Focus on friendship: a friendship allows you to get to know a person on a casual level and creates a stronger foundation to build on if the friendship grows into an official relationship. Plus in friendship communicating is more genuine and raw than if jumping into a relationship/courting.
- Move slowly and allow for all the possibilities: inquire about the un-exhausted possibilities of knowing a person beyond the search for a companion, but having someone in your life that can teach you about yourself and others.
- Don’t do anything unless you feel you are ready: logically think about what you wish to do based your own personal opinions don’t let outside pressures impact your perspective or actions.
- Be strong and better for yourself: don’t let the prospect of a companion force you to improve the way you live, do it for yourself and in doing so a companion will come.
First things first ladies let me state that there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking the person you are interested in on a date or “hang out” session. There is nothing wrong with taking charge and in doing so less “games” are played between you two. Also in asking first it shows confidence and looks good on your part. Everyone loves a confident go-getter. Even though social norms seem against the idea of women asking a person out first. If you really like someone do it! The worse is that they say no, then you just pick yourself up and move on. And “no” doesn’t mean, no one will ever like me or date me etc. it just means it wasn’t the right person or the right time (it is important that you think of the person saying no, because it may have nothing to do with you.)
Additionally when I say “just ask” I am also talking about good communication and not playing emotional and mental games. I personally know a lot of women who are dating expect their significant others to be mind readers, which is highly unlikely unless they are a vampire or you are a student of Charles Xavier and possess the mutant X gene. Even if you might think your head is a crazy place that only a small amount of people should have access to. In opening up a good channel of honesty it promotes growth and understanding in a relationship. And it’s super important to start this practice early. Regardless if it’s just expressing that you are not ready for a full-on relationship, you are interested in them and want to hang out, or express that you want a tailor-made relationship that is constructed by the guidelines of you all’s choosing. Just express yourself and don’t be afraid to ask the serious questions. in just asking, it’s important to not wait too long to ask or express yourself because if you wait to say what you feel it leads to an argument or the beginning of resenting someone. And yes I know expressing yourself can be difficult and this era of technology doesn’t help with face to face interaction which so important to how you communicate with everyone, especially the person you like. The best side of communicating with your partner is that your business stays your business and not blasted on social media.
I pose a challenge if you are in a relationship or have a friendship with a person you and things seem difficult. I challenge you to be the one to open the channel of good communication, honesty, and face-to-face conversations (unless long distance) because at the end of the day silence and secrets will crush both parties and the relationship.
Once you are on campus and you having the time of your life, transitioning, and enjoying a new sense of freedom social events and weekend plans start to overlap, but as you try to enjoy these events and make new social connections, your wallet keeps getting thinner and thinner. Especially, living on campus it is inevitable that during your college career you will want to make some quick cash. However there is no easy route to attain this “fast cash”. It’s best to have an organized and realistic approach when it comes to making a few extra bucks. Regardless, if you get an allowance from your parent or guardian or you have a job and are between checks. Because in planning for the extra money if not logical will lead you to a path of desperate ideas like selling blood (plasma) and pawning items with sentimental value. When all you have to do is look for more options and research the possibilities. But at the end of the day the most overlooked quality of university and colleges is: the amount of offered resources to help you thrive during your academic career whether academic, physical, mental, emotional, and financial opportunities and resources.
With that in mind here are a few ideas to help you earn fast cash alongside possible resources that your campus will offer
- Sell books and old notes: this may seem like the best bet, but it’s important to sale these items at the right time during the semester. The end and beginning of a term yet, during the summer and winter you will get cash just not as much.
- Sell the clothes that you barely wear to consignment shops: sell half and donate the other half. Additionally, when selling items there are many websites that can help you do this such as Ebay© and Poshmark©.
- Check your campus career center and your specific college to see if they have a list serve that sends a weekly email with quick and long-term employment, which is great when looking for immediate money and considering what you want to do as a career.
- Look into studies that different departments on campus provide which can range from psychological, couples, language and much more. These studies are generally easy and don’t require much of the participant except time, which is fairly scarce during the semester.